Monday, August 5, 2013

Perks of Triple Therapy

As of Friday, August 02, I have 8 more weeks of treatment to go. My Dad calls it a drop in the bucket, and I suppose he is right compared to what I have already been through. However, if he were in my shoes, I am sure the prospect of 8 more injections of what is essentially poison, wouldn’t exactly thrill him. I am still testing negative, and at this point, my chances of being cured are very good.

Now that I am in the home stretch, I have had time to reflect on my treatment as a whole. I have realized that despite all the terrible side effects, treatment wasn’t all bad. In fact, there have actually been a few perks. Since most bloggers who talk about the side effects of triple therapy tend to focus on the negative (and as a result, scare the crap out of those who are starting treatment), I thought I would take the opposite approach and talk about the perks to being on triple therapy.

For the first 12 weeks, you have to eat the kind of foods most adults avoid; and you don’t have to feel guilty about it because you are actually helping your body by eating them. These foods include, but are not limited to: Bagels with an obscene amount of cream cheese, ice cream, chocolate, French fries, deluxe burgers, cheesecake, chocolate, and my personal favorite, cheese.

For the next part of treatment you get to experience weight loss, without trying. Once your 12 week gorge fest is over with, you will have gained a fair amount of weight. But fear not my friends, for that weight, and then some, is going to fall right off. It is going to disappear even if you attend a graduation party and gorge yourself on brownies. Because of this, you are going to need new pants; which, conveniently, is part of the next perk. (Men might not see this as much of a perk, sorry fellas.)

Losing weight and needing new pants means one thing: SHOPPING! Just like the first perk, gorging yourself on yummy food, you cannot feel guilty about this one either. After all, one can’t exactly go around with their pants falling down, unless they are a fifteen year old boy, and even that is not advisable.

Your hair will fall out. I know, at first this seems like a negative, but one day you will notice that it is not just the hair on your head falling out; your body hair is going too. Goodbye shaving, hello smooth skin.
Lastly, you have a built in excuse to take a nap, whenever the mood strikes. If someone has the nerve to question you, give them a full on guilt trip. Sleep is important when fighting a virus, ask Grandma.

So here I am, model thin, my legs smooth as a newborn’s bottom, having made it through almost every terrible side effect that this treatment can throw at me. I hope to be one of the last to receive triple therapy as there are new, less difficult, treatments on the horizon. But if you, or someone you know, are embarking on this journey, know that the end will come and nothing is ever as bad as you imagined it to be.

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