Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Should You Hide Your Scars on Your Wedding Day?

So I know this blog has not had much of the focus that I originally intended, that is, I have not written much around the subject of disability as it relates to the wedding process. I think this is because, being a daily part of my life, my efforts to work around my disability a streamlined, unnoticed and natural.

I realize now, that I am letting too much of my own personal circumstances affect the content of this blog. My original goal was not just to write about my own experience with planning a wedding with a disability, but also to serve as a resource to others.

I forgot about that part.

But, once again my favorite TV show, Say Yes to the Dress, was able to inspire me. This weekend, I was watching re-runs and I happened to see two different episodes where women shopping for dresses had pretty substantial scars that they didn’t want to have showing on there wedding day.

My first reaction was to jump through the screen and shake them. And then I remembered that to some people scars are a big deal, and showing them off on your wedding day is not something many people want to do.

As a person with a disability I have lots of scars, and I think they are a very big deal, to other people. For me, they are just another part of my body, like my freckles, I don't even notice them, even when they are clearly visible, unless someone is kind enough to point them out. One day at work, I had this crazy idea to wear a skirt and co-worker stopped me in the hall and said in a very loud voice: “You have big scars on your legs, doesn’t that bother you?”

No, they don’t. Scars mean that I survived, why should that bother me? But on the day I choose my dress, I found my self asking my mother how much of the large scar on my back showed? It’s a scar I have had nearly all my life, the result of a heart surgery that saved my life when I was just days old. Mom said that much of it was showing and for a moment I remember the voice of my co-worker in the hallway.

Can you see my scar ?
(This is NOT the dress by the way)


Then I remembered that on my wedding day, I won’t be surrounded by insensitive co-workers with a warped sense of beauty and little tact. I will be surrounded by the people that love me, that think my scar is beautiful because it means that I am here and that I am able to get married, and have a family and live. And I bought the dress anyway, because it was the dress and I wasn’t going to compromise on it because of some silly scar.

And I hope that you don't either

However, for those of you who are a little self conscious, this article will show you  how to hide scars with make-up so you don't have to sacrifice style or worry about that one relative who you just know is going to notice no matter how great you look.

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10 comments:

  1. Wear your scars with pride dont hide them I used to hide my scars out of embarrasment because people didnt understand but i dont care anymore they are mine and they all have a story behind them hope all goes well on your special day

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  2. I completely agree with you! Scars are not so horrible, they show where you have been and are reminders of what made you who you are today.

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  3. I'm lovin' this blog of yours!

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  4. I think scars are beautiful! They are a unique piece of your beauty.

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  5. Scars are proof of where we have been.... scars = strength :)

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  6. I have a large scar on my back. It doesn't bother me. I have had those inconsiderate and ridiculous people point it out. I have no problem talking about the life saving surgery I had - on my own terms. I'm getting married this September, and it was important to me to cover as much of my scar as possible - not because I'm embarrassed or neurotic. Because I don't want people to think about that day when I almost died on my wedding day.

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  7. That's a good point, some people might associate with that. I guess I didn't think anyone would associate my scar with almost dying because I don't associate it that way. Everyone's scars are different and mean different things to them so you have to make the choice that is right for you, especially on your wedding day. September is like the new June I think. :) Good luck with all your planning! I hope you have the best day!

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