Friday, February 18, 2011

How to Plan, Not Procrastinate

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up the day of my wedding with everything done and perfect. The funny thing is, it’s not even stressful (yet); but I am sort of lazy and like most lazy people, I often find the thought of doing something is much worse than actually doing it. For work, our boss had us read this book called Eat That Frog! 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time which I (rather typically) have not actually read, but the concept seems to be that if you do your most dreaded, most difficult task first, the other tasks will seem easier and you will accomplish them faster.

This is an awesome concept, but what if you dread everything?

The way I see it, there are two types of brides in the world those that like to plan, conceptualize and dream up the perfect wedding, by looking up blogs and bouquet ideas and those that actually get stuff done. I just so happen to fall into the first category.  It’s not the planning I have a problem with. It’s all those little things that have to happen to make the plan work. This is probably true for most people who put off reading books on how to stop procrastinating.

Luckily, for me, I am my father’s daughter and functioning under the idea that everything will work itself out in the end. If I was anything like my fiancĂ© I am sure that I would still be procrastinating but I would also be stressed out about my procrastination which is stressful just thinking about don’t you think?

Word on the web is that wedding procrastination is normal. If fact, there are several other bloggers writing about the subject of procrastination. They are writing handy little tips on how to stop procrastinating and anecdotes about how procrastination is a good thing They are all using the same picture too. Wanna see it? Of course you do:

There are plenty of tips to stop procrastinating. All of which we have heard before. But I have had an epiphany, discovered the break-thru-not-so-scientific method to stop procrastination dead in its tracks.

Have someone else do it for you.

Now before you start laughing, let me just point out that most people hate asking for help, and I am no exception. From early on, I was told that I needed to “do it by myself and be independent”. At the same time, there have always been things I could not on my own. Therefore, when I am physically able to do something I find it very hard to ask for help even when I am struggling.

When I first got engaged, I jumped headlong into planning, thinking that I would single-handedly plan the best wedding I ever on our limited budget. Sometime after getting the dress however, the growing list of to-dos became overwhelming; and I simply stopped thinking about the wedding altogether.

That is until I got an email and a then a phone call from two of my closest friends. The first was from my friend Christy, an artist friend of mine, who had agreed early on to create my wedding invitations. She emailed me a draft of an invite she had been working on while I was sitting on my butt hoping the wedding would plan itself. The second came from my friend Stephy.  She called to ask me if I had given any thought to booking a block of rooms for guests. I called her back feeling ashamed that both of them were more worried about my wedding then I was.

I quickly admitted to Stephy, that I was feeling mostly clueless and a bit overwhelmed by the smaller details of the wedding and she offered to help secure the hotel for me. After a week and a few phone calls back and forth to confirm details I was able to check off “book rooms” from my list of to-dos. During the same week, I worked with Christy to determine what my save-the-dates would look like and where I would print them.

 All the sudden I am back on track, Stephy, continues to be my un-official wedding planner, giving me small tasks to accomplish when I get stuck, and thanks to Christy my save-the-dates are nearly ready to be ordered.

So seriously, if during planning, you get stuck dreading some mundane task; don’t consult the web for a list of tips, just ask for help. The truth is that most people will be happy to help you plan the big day. Of course, if you have friends as awesome as mine you’re really gonna have to go big on those bridesmaid gifts.

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