My 30th year was one full of challenges;
challenges that, at times, I felt that I would
never be able to overcome. It felt like I was walking uphill through sand and
no matter how much I struggled, I could not get my feet underneath me. I would
get a few feet, and then the sand would shift and I would tumble head over foot
back to the bottom. I wanted to give up a hundred times, but I knew that I
couldn’t do that. Giving up is not something I know how to do.
Fortunately, storms do not last forever and seasons change. My 31st year is turning
out to be a season of new opportunities. Some of those old
challenges are not over; but the slope isn’t as steep and my feet are
finally finding purchase. I am starting two new
jobs this month; the first as an Administrative
Assistant, the second as a blogger for
Unlimters, an online marketplace for people with disabilities. I will be
writing about the products and services I use in
order to live an “unlimited” life. You can check out my posts and the posts from other bloggers here.
However, the most exciting thing I have going right now is I am working on finally getting my driver’s
license! While driving
has always been a possibility for me, it has also
been one of my biggest challenges. I have been working towards getting my
license, on and off,
for the past 15 years. I have worked with a
number of agencies, only to stop over and over
again because I couldn’t get enough funding to pay for the number of practice
hours I needed.
Then I realized I didn’t need
the agency. I’m an adult, my disability does not
impair my ability to drive; it only requires a
few adaptions. So I bought some portable hand controls and my husband installed
them in the car. A friend helped me obtain the rest of the adaptions I needed
and on my birthday, I went to the Secretary of State to have my permit renewed.
I have driven four times since getting
my permit; three times with my husband and once with my Mother-in-Law.
It has not been easy. Today, I drove to the grocery store and home again. I
could tell my husband was nervous, and that frazzled me some. I wanted to be
perfect for him, I wasn’t. I made the mistakes
of any new driver. I had trouble staying in the center of the lane, I took a
few turns a little sharp and I had a hard time
maintaining my speed. I was so focused on doing it right, making him proud of
me, making sure that he believed I could do it,
that my brain was going a hundred miles an hour. After I pulled into our driveway and turned off the car, I burst into
tears.
I wanted driving to be easy. I wanted to be good at it right
away. But driving
is hard and I am like any other new driver. Both Tom and my Mother-in-Law said I
was better than they expected me to be, and they both are sure that with practice I will get better. Tom says one day it will just
click and driving will be natural. I wanted that day to be today, but it
wasn’t. I don’t think it will be tomorrow either.
When I set a goal, I tend to sprint toward the finish line,
my quilting is a perfect example of this; but I have
to accept that accomplishing this goal is going
to be a marathon. It is going to take time. But
I am determined that this will be the year I
finally get my license. It is going to be one of the most triumphant moments of
my life; and it will
be worth every tear, every mistake and every
year I spent getting there.
